As You Wish
by ancientmaverick
Summary: Nice day, on a nice planet. What could go wrong?


_AN: A response to the Creature Feature challenge on the Stargate Drabbles list. _

_The challenge: a nice day, on a nice planet where they find a nice place to set up camp. Everything is nice…or so they think. Somehow a strange creature has invaded their camp. Describe the creature, describe how it got there, and describe what it does and how they deal with it._

XxSG:1xX

"Well, this is nice."

Daniel sighed in agreement with Jack as he lay back, arms tucked beneath his head. The soft grass tickled his arms, but it was almost soothing as he stared up at the stars. He could see no less than four planets from this position, and the moons rose in counterpoint, bathing the small copse of trees they'd found in soft shimmers of silver.

"I think I could retire here," Sam offered from her perch in one of the trees.

Teal'c was standing watch, but even his usually stoic features resembled a sort of contentment. "It is indeed a most pleasant environment."

"Yeah, I do know how to pick 'em," Jack replied, a self-satisfied smirk settling on his face. SG-5 had been on the rotation to explore the planet, but after initial MALP readings had been received, Jack had pulled rank. His team deserved a break, and this planet was looking more and more like a resort with each passing minute. The path from the 'gate had led them through a field of wildflowers to a series of ancient ruins. Daniel had been in his element, and the discovery of naquadah had Carter cooing over her instruments. Teal'c, meanwhile, had found a pictogram on a wall depicting an ancient form of what appeared to be tai-chi, and Jack had found an alien jukebox that still had some juice in it.

It almost felt too good to be true, but the sixth sense Jack had for trouble lay dormant. It was impossible to feel anything but a deep peace about the planet, and thus far, it was looking like a very profitable mission.

Daniel sniffled behind him, and Jack grinned into the darkness. "I thought the Doc fixed you up with super allergy blocker stuff."

"She did." Daniel sounded confused.

"Then why are you sniffling?"

"Am I?" He took a deep breath without obstruction. "I think you're hearing things."

"I am not. Maybe it was Carter."

"It wasn't me. Are you sure it wasn't you, sir?" she asked lightly.

Jack growled halfheartedly. "What about you, T? Junior slacking off today?"

"I do not sniffle, O'Neill."

"Seriously Jack, your imagination is playing tricks on you."

Jack lay back down, only to jump up two seconds later. "There! Someone sniffled!"

Daniel also sat up. "I don't think that was one of us."

Teal'c raised his _zat_ suddenly, pointing it directly at Jack. Jack frowned before his brain caught up with him. He pulled his sidearm and whirled, coming face to face with –

"Is that…?"

Daniel was slowly backing away, his head shaking in disbelief. "Can't be…"

Teal'c confirmed their suspicions. "It appears to be a rodent of unusual size."

Sam moved to jump down from the tree, but Jack held up his hand, stopping her. "Don't startle it. No telling what it might do."

The rodent, which was indeed of an unusual size, slowly shuffled toward them, sniffling at various plants along the way. It reached the spot where Daniel had been laying and sniffed at the ground, before turning to stare directly at Daniel. Jack moved to step in front of the archaeologist –

FOOM!!!

Jack jumped back, almost tripping over Daniel, who peered out from behind him as Sam shimmied out of the tree and Teal'c lowered the _zat_. The column of fire had come out of nowhere, completely engulfing the rodent until there was nothing left but the odor of burnt flesh.

XxSG:1xX

Based on the grins of his premier team as they had headed out that morning, General Hammond expected a rested and relaxed SG:1 upon their return. When their code was received six hours ahead of schedule, he thought it odd, but he still wasn't expecting to see the four disheveled and extremely disgruntled individuals who came through the 'gate. Dr. Jackson's clothing was singed and still smoking in places, while Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill appeared to be covered in sand. Teal'c had small tears in the shoulder of his BDU's, but appeared otherwise unaffected. Furthermore, a confrontation that had clearly begun on the other side was in full swing.

"-now, I mean it!" Jack exclaimed.

"Anybody want a peanut?" Daniel asked.

Just as Hammond was considering ordering a psych evaluation, Teal'c intervened. "Your rhyming skills are inconceivable, DanielJackson."

Sam looked up from brushing sand off a pant leg. "You keep'a using that word. I do no think it means what you think it means."

Jack looked ready to tear out his remaining hair as he gestured around the gateroom. "Just so you know, there are plenty of people around to hear me scream."

It was clear that no explanation was going to be immediately forthcoming, so Hammond cleared his throat and issued his favorite order. "Debriefing. One hour."

Daniel, Sam and Teal'c exchanged a look, and then turned to look at Jack. He opened his mouth, a protest clearly on the tip of his tongue until Daniel narrowed his eyes. He sighed, and then faced Hammond.

"As you wish!"


End file.
